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The Five-Steps Peanut Butter Jelly Sandwich

Step 1: Take three slices of white bread (we don't need no oaty wholewheat shit) and pound them hardly on the table/floor/whereever you feel comfortable making your sandwich.

Step 2: Eat off all the brown sides of the bread. (can I use a knife?) No, this is a stressful task - you might risk stabbing yourself in your ass.

Step 3: Spread peanut butter one side of the two slices (leave the other one alone) with your forefinger before licking them clean. (Why?) No food wastage here, mate.

Step 4: Now, grab the jelly and play with it by bouncing off from one palm to the other before smacking them flat on the remaining slice of bread - both sides, thank you.

Step 5: Combine all slices together and voila, you have Sillypore's Best Peanut Butter Sandwich.

*This secret recipe has been passed on from generation to generation. So, please keep this in confidence, yah?

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